On August 3rd, we hit our 6 month mark for our paperwork sitting in Bulgaria waiting for the divine moment when our file gets pulled and matched. This means we’ve been doing this thing for a total of 16 months so far. When we started, I thought it would be unbearable. I thought every moment of every day I would find myself wringing my hands and wondering what was taking so long. However (thankfully) I have not. Rather than getting weighed down by it all, I have actually found myself embracing it and feeling liberated to action. I realize that we potentially have years of waiting still ahead of us, but for this time, I can be thankful that God called me to action and got my mind on higher things.
It wasn’t much after we got officially registered that Courtney asked me about working together to raise funds for the Maria Luisa Orphanage, and we have worked efficiently at planning fundraisers for the past 5 months. This left little time to sit and wallow in self-pity, but rather lit a spark to move. The past 6 “adoption” months of waiting have not only gone quickly with little thought of “the call,” but they have passed joyfully, being filled with richer blessings than at any other time in my faith.
Makes me sorta wonder if God wanted to teach me this lesson all along, huh? When we take our eyes off of ourselves, and work towards HIS Kingdom, He gives joy and peace where doubt and anxiety might have otherwise dwelt.
I know this emotional journey will ebb and flow, and there will be moments that I forget God already knows this story, moments when doubt creeps in, but right now–today–we are 6 months closer to our baby!