This week was a week of not “being enough.” Not doing enough, not loving enough, not seeking enough. It was a hard week–the kind that reminds you how precious life is, but also the kind that leaves you wondering if you are doing enough, if you are good enough. That is a very dangerous question to ask yourself sometimes because the world has many ways of showing you that you aren’t. I have on more than one occasion this week found myself in conversations with Andy about, “Am I doing enough with the kids? Are we doing enough with church? Did we do enough in this situation?” And so on, and so on. The thing about asking those types of questions is that you will always end up with the harsh truth–“No.” My very best efforts aren’t “good enough.” I could always do more, be more, work more, serve more, love more, trust more…..you get the idea. Even God’s Word reminds us that all our efforts to do good enough are but filthy rags:
(And I might add here, that there are plenty of actual “filthy rags” piled up in my laundry room at this moment reassuring me that I could be doing more!)
If that was it, the end of the story, how devastating that would be. I’m not good enough. The end.
But it doesn’t end there. My filthy rags are made clean in the blood of Jesus. I don’t have to be good enough, because, in Christ, I am made whole; I am accepted. I will not ever be good enough, but God is. Mark 10:18 says “No one is good—except God alone.” My goodness isn’t what earns me God’s favor as I often want to believe, but “through faith I have been saved.” (Ephesians 2:8) Of course our faith works together with our works, we can’t just give up on doing good works altogether. The Lord takes our filthy rags and uses them for His glory, so we can stop listening to the “not good enough” voices, and rest in the “well done my good and faithful servant” Creator voice.
About a year ago, I remember getting ready for bed and I was in a frenzy of feeling like I wasn’t doing enough. I was rambling to Andy about this burden, and he simply looked me straight in the eyes, and said “You have done enough for today.” Those few simple words brought me rest, and I have continued to think of the Lord saying those same words at the end of the day. “You have done enough for today, tomorrow is a new day and we will continue on then. For now, just rest, child.”
And with that, I am free to hand over my filthy rags to the One who makes them clean, and thank Him that HE is good enough.